Favourite Lyrics

This is the best piece from a song I have ever found, and is from my favourite artist at the moment. It just personifies all my feelings at the moment, and just makes sense. And the funny thing is, probably about 5 years ago I happened to find a perfect heart shaped pebble on a beach, and have been carrying it with me for years and have always wanted to make it into a necklace! So here it is.....


"So I take you to the beach, and walk along the sand,

And I'll make you a heart pendant, with a pebble in my hand.

And I'll carve it like a necklace, so the heart falls where your chest is,

And now a piece of me, is a piece of the beach, and it falls just where it needs to be, and rests peacefully.

You just need to breathe, to feel my heart against yours now, against yours now."

Ed Sheeran "Wake Me Up"

My two girls

My two little girls were extremely comfy on my bed today, and snuggled up next to each other. How cute :-)

You

You found me, saved me, held me in your arms, made me feel beautiful and brought me back to life. I don't need a life jacket or parachute, as I already know you will catch me if I fall....

Sky was on fire

So, now the sun is rising later and later, my train rides to work are mostly in darkness. Today though I noticed a slight lightness in the sky toward the horizon. As we got closer to Dawlish, and the sea opened up, the sky was on fire. But oddly only a line of fire, as there was a gap in the cloud on the horizon. The colour seemed more intense than normal, but maybe that's because there was only a small line that had opened up in the cloud cover. I managed to take a photo from the bridge over the railway, to capture the moment, and it turned out quite well :-)

Surfing!

So guess what, after living in Cornwall for my childhood, and living in Devon for the rest, and at the grand old age of 28 I finally went surfing yesterday!

Ollie suggested we went out to North Devon, as he knew the surf was fantastic and he managed to get the day off work. So we headed out early and was at Croyde by midday. He wanted to surf the reef first, so I followed him along the cliffs and rocks with my camera and telephoto lens. I sat/stood on spiky and very uncomfortable rocks for the best part of two hours, taking lots of photos of the waves, surfers and of course my man surfing. He eventually came out and we walked back to the van to get some food and get me ready to hit the waves. I was so excited, after seeing him surf and all the surfers in the water.

After some refreshments, we packed the van up and headed round the corner to Saunton Sands where the surf was better for me to start with. I got in my wetsuit and we headed out to the sea. I wasn't so much nervous, just cautious about how cold the sea would be! Being mid October, and knowing how much of a wimp I am, I was fearing the worst. Yet I started to walk in and I was pleasantly surprised at how warm it was. Okay, okay, so not bath temperature, but in a full wetsuit it was absolutely lovely!

So we walked out to chest high water, and I got on the board and practiced paddling. Man was that hard, the hardest part of it all together. I got used to smashing over the waves as I waited for a good wave. Ollie told me to start paddling and I was off on my first wave. I was shooting across the water to the shore line. That done, the next stage was to catch a wave then kneel up. I got myself ready and caught a wave and got myself on my knees fairy quickly, and easily to. The next wave was to kneel up with one leg but stand up with the other. I was off on the wave and did that without an issue. It felt great, even before I stood up.

Ollie then took the board to show me the push up to standing up as he caught a wave next to me. Hmmm, yeah right, just like that, easy peasy! I certainly wasn't as confident about that as the other stages. Yet I got myself ready to catch a wave and I was off. Seconds later I had nose dived into the wave and was sucking up the ocean. Fantastic, my first experience of crashing out of a wave. I surfaced laughing my ass off and grinning like an insane person. Ha, on to the next wave. I needed to line myself up better on the board and put my hands further down the board toward me so I didn't push the top of the board into the water. I got that even before Ollie said it. So I was off again on another wave, and this time it felt right, I was comfortable to push up and swing my legs through to stand up when I realized a sea kayak was heading straight for me, so I had to bottle it before I attempted to stand up as I would have gone straight into him. Arse, I thought as I surfaced again, it was perfect, and felt perfect, and fairly sure I would have been on my feet.

Right onto the next few waves, and I very nearly got on my feet, but alas they were not quite right. So Ollie took the board out into the big waves to catch a wave back in. I was determined to stand up, even for a few seconds. So when he returned I got myself on the board and prepared for my best surf of the day. I set myself up on my own this time, picked my wave and started paddling...I was off, line perfect, I pushed up, swang my legs through, a bit messily but still, and I was stood up, both feet, hurrah I thought as I fell into the surf. I came up elated as I knew I had done what I wanted, my first surf lesson and had stood on the board and surfed. Whoop! Go me.

After we had changed back in the van, I felt that unbelievable feeling you get post-surf. A warm, exhausted yet contented feeling that is hard to put into words. And even today, after an amazingly fantastic sleep, I feel refreshed and alive again.

Although we are heading into winter, I knew I wanted to carry on surfing. Last night Ollie said to me "you shall have to look into getting a winter suit". So yeah, onto the winter months of surfing....can't wait!

Here's a photo of the surf I was in at Saunton Sands....

Amazing light over Dawlish at sunset today

Even seasons change

So, we are on the verge of autumn, and we have to sadly say goodbye to the summer we never really had. There is something about the change from season to season that gets my mind racing and makes me remember things; some make me smile and some nasty memories make me shed tears and make me hurt in a way I can only begin to describe. I suppose moving back to the city where so much stuff happened doesn't help! But I want to be back here, in our new lovely house with my best friend, cats and all my beautiful friends. And having the most sociable house in Exeter is an amazing feeling!

My dreams at the moment are crazy freaky. A single reflection of the state of my overloaded mind I suppose. Like I said, it's not all bad things, just a variety of things. But sometimes its hard not to think of things. And when you are reminded of some major things in your life that were utterly horrific, of course it's going to affect you.

Sleep for me arrives in either long or short as well. I either sleep for 14 hours or sleep for a few.

But hey, things are changing for the better and I have lots of amazing things to look forward to. So it's good the seasons are changing, as finally for me, it's a good happy change! :-)

Ghostly figures

So I'm on the train from Exeter to Dawlish, which passes the coast and estuary. The sun is rising later and later. Today, I have just come up to Starcross, and it's still dark. Yet in the hazy light of sunrise, the Egrets are standing on the mud banks, like ghostly figures. Bright white shapes against the dark, shiny sands. The bright orange sky is being reflected in the iridescent dark sand banks. A beautiful sight to see as the world wakes up.

The Pine Forest

To enjoy the totally astonishing weather we had the first weekend in October, the new man in my life suggested we make the most of it. I had been partying hard both Friday and Saturday nights, and after a lie-in, he suggested we get out and enjoy this amazing weather. Now, if it wasn't for him, I am sure I could have stayed in bed all weekend and missed probably one of the best weekends I have had this year! And if you are reading this Ollie, thanks for getting my lazy ass out of bed and giving me back, or more to the point, making me remember my love for the world and nature!

Saturday 01/10/11

After waking early, and seeing the amazingly blue sky from my window, hearing the birds singing their amazing song, we decided a trip out for the afternoon in the van was in need. So we got ourselves ready, and were on the road before 1pm. We stopped off in Sainsbury's to get some picnic food, and we were Dartmoor bound. After a stop off in a local pub for a cheeky pint of an amazing pint of ale, we eventually settled at a fairly quiet spot in the middle of Dartmoor, by Hound Tor. Ollie reversed the van in, opened the back and we had an awesome, dreamlike view of the moor from the comfort of the back sofa of the van. We got the food out and lounged in the sun and ate olives, fresh crunchy bread, cheese, red onion chutney and marinated anchovies (pure and unadulterated heaven in my eyes). There were a few people around us, but mostly we could hear the rumble of the cattle grid as cars went across it, and the cows moo-ing around us. A few hours later and the sun began to set. Now, watching the sun set, in the middle of Dartmoor, laying in the arms of someone special is just, well darn frinking amazingly awesome if you ask me! It was one of those moments you wish could go on forever....an endless moment in time. But sadly, the sun set and we had to make our move back to Exeter for the next party we had planned. So off we went, amazingly happy after the afternoon we had spent, and in awe of the world around us.

Sunday 02/10/11

I awoke on Sunday morning, pounding in my head from too much excess from the end of summer dance rave the night before. Yet, I looked to my right, and saw a rather beautiful person beside me, slowly awakening from sleep. I was grabbed in an amazingly warm and embracing cuddle, and I smiled. A few hours of dozing later, and we were ready to hit the road again to enjoy the last day of summer sunshine and heat. We stopped to get the same food as the day before, and were off on the shorter journey to Haldon Forest Park, a short ride out of Exeter. It was super busy, with kids, cyclists, families and dogs, but we walked around the forest park, breathing in the fresh air and basking in the sun. We found a secret path through the middle of the pine forest, and the atmosphere was shockingly different. It was proper thick pine trees, so the air was dead and still, it was dark and had an eerie feel about it. But somehow magically beautiful. We stopped in the middle of the thickest part to have a cuddle and kiss, in the quiet, while the families and dogs rushed around the forest (Now if this was in a movie, the couple would share a tender kiss, the camera would zoom out, showing the forest in the middle and the people rushing around the outside). We carried on and reached the money shot, the amazing views over Exeter and the river (see photo below).

My amazingly perfect weekend ended, yet it was just super awesome. Getting out onto the world I love, in the arms of someone special, breathing in the air and seeing the world in it's most beautiful state.